Urban Romance (A Useless Man Gets Attracted Peach Blossoms) (Complete) - 39

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183. Godfather Xiaoshan and his daughter?
Upon entering the residential area, I saw Liu Fang standing at the stairwell, arm in arm with his mother, smiling broadly. The old man immediately ran over, but was stopped by a group of girls in blue dresses. The girls said in unison, "Congratulations, congratulations,"
and held out their hands.
The old man quickly ran to my side, as nimble as a young man.
I said, "You need my help again?"
and stuffed a bunch of red envelopes into his hands. The old man imitated me, throwing the red envelopes at the girls' heads, but the girls didn't budge, still saying congratulations and such.
I smiled and said to Ma Ling beside me, "Jing, I don't understand this, what kind of program is this?" Ma Ling said, "I won't tell you, aren't you a clever girl?" Wang Jie, seeing her father standing there in a daze, quickly took several bouquets of flowers from the car and gave one to each of the girls, but the girls remained unmoved.
Seeing the old man's anxiety, I said to Ma Ling, "Have mercy, my lady." "
Ma Ling said, 'The general manager and chairman of a company can't even get past this?' Wang Feng said, 'I really don't understand, Miss Ma, give me a hint.'
Ma Ling said, 'No, you don't even know how to be romantic.'
I understood immediately, and went to the old man and whispered a few words.
The old man blushed, but still went up to him and said loudly, 'Fang Lizhi, I love you like a mouse loves rice.'
Sure enough, the girls moved aside to look for red envelopes, and Aunt Fang stood prettily in front of the old man, her face as red as a rainbow.
Many people from the neighborhood came out, men and women crowded together to watch.
A woman said, 'This old man is really a waste of time. How old is he, still marrying a girl?' An old man said, 'That girl is really beautiful, a beautiful flower stuck in cow dung.'
A woman said fieryly, 'Look at yourself before you speak. That old man is so energetic. If he is cow dung, then you are.' "
The old man didn't dare say a word, muttering something under his breath before leaving.
A young woman said, "What young woman? She's over forty. I know her; she's from the countryside. She's just pretty." She
then grabbed a young man and left, saying, "What are you looking at? If you want to look, don't go home."
Colorful ribbons filled the air, and scraps of paper scattered on the ground swirled in the wind.
I quickly slipped a few red envelopes to the security guard and the cleaners, who just smiled without saying a word.
The old man mustered his courage, picked up Aunt Fang, and walked towards the car. The young women began to sing: "Hold me, hold me, hold my girl and let her into the bridal sedan chair..."
Ma Ling tugged at my arm and said, "Satisfied?" I said, "You did a good job. It was right to invite you from Wuhan."
Ma Ling said, "If you get married and still want me, I'll make you regret it."
I said, "Then I wouldn't dare trouble you."
Ma Ling giggled and said, "You dare! If you don't come to me, I'll cause a scene at the wedding and make sure you can't get married." "
I said, 'The car's gone, how's the wedding banquet going?' Ma Ling said, 'Don't worry, I've arranged everything. It's just family, only ten tables. The entertainment isn't too difficult, just something to have fun with.'
I said, 'But this setup really surprised me.'
Ma Ling said, 'I brought my entire team to Beijing, how are you going to thank me?' I said, 'Go find Wang Feng.'
Saying that, I called out to Wang Feng, who looked at me and smiled, but I couldn't smile.
Ma Ling was going back to Wuhan that night. After the wedding, Wang Feng and I invited Ma Ling to tea at Da Qu She.
Ma Ling said, 'Why are you only inviting me to tea? Not even a cup of wine?' I said, 'Tea helps you stay clear-headed, and making choices helps you understand the principles.'
Ma Ling laughed and said, 'You're so good at talking.'
I said, 'These past few years, you've really put in the effort. Those few programs alone are the envy of countless young people.'
Wang Feng said, 'How are they the envy of young people?' I said, 'Don't even mention the bride and groom's charm, those dozen or so girls, every single one of them is so beautiful it makes your mouth water. If it weren't for Aunt Fang's stunning beauty, I really don't know how the bride could have stood out from the crowd.' Ma Ling laughed."
Wang Feng said, "This is the first time I've ever heard the old man say 'I love you'."
I said, "Take that Crossing-the-Bridge Rice Noodles incident, for example. I don't know how he came up with that idea, but the old man actually rolled that piece of candy from those thin chopsticks with his tongue into Aunt Fang's mouth. How could Aunt Fang not be sweet?" Ma Ling said, "I didn't expect Aunt Fang to look so young, nor did I expect her to be so generous coming from the countryside. She bit an apple into a heart shape and actually fed it to the old man."
I said, "In that atmosphere, it was hard not to do that. The most amazing thing was 'Pigsy Carrying His Bride.' I don't know where the old man got the strength from, carrying Aunt Fang to toast more than a dozen tables, mostly with younger people. Aunt Fang was so embarrassed that she buried her face in his arms."
Wang Feng said, "Ma Ling, thank you so much. The old man hasn't been this happy in a long time."
Ma Ling said, "If you want to thank someone, thank Li Chao. I learned all this from him."
I said, "I didn't teach you that." Let the elderly learn "Westward Journey" at weddings: I once dreamed of having a sincere relationship in front of me. Maybe God let me miss it, so I looked around and searched. There is no pain in the world more than this. God finally gave me a chance to find you in the vast crowd. I want to say: I love you! If I had to add a time limit to this, I think it would be ten thousand years.
Ma Ling said: "It's not you who have changed." Wang Feng said:
"Seeing my father so happy makes me think of my mother. My father loves my mother so much."
I patted Wang Feng on the shoulder and said, "It's all over. Don't think about it anymore. If you want to think about it, just think about the people who are alive."
Wang Feng said: "Can love really last forever?" "I said: "Yes, but some love is kept in the heart.
Ma Ling also became sad: "I have loved you, can I love again?" "I said: "Yes, people can't live in the past forever. "As
soon as I opened the door, Liu Fang threw herself into my arms and cried.
I know this feeling. I want my mother to be happy, but also feel a sense of loss. A girl who entered the world as a teenager may be sensible, but the person closest to her leaves her. This is the feeling of anyone.
Liu Fang said, "I have another father, but I feel like I've lost my mother."
I said, "No, a mother will always love her child the most."
Liu Fang said, "But I've never seen my mother so happy before. This is the kind of happiness she feels after leaving her daughter."
I said, "You're overthinking it. Your mother has spent her whole life in hardship. Of course, she'll be excited when she feels sweet. Your mother still loves you the most."
Liu Fang said, "Uncle Wang has already bewitched my mother. I can tell."
I said, "In Beijing, you have another person who cares about you, and not just one. Wang Feng and Wang Jie are like family to you."
Liu Fang said, "But I've noticed they're not very warm towards me."
I said, "Spend more time with them, and it will get better."
Liu Fang leaned against me, unable to calm down for a long time.
I said, "Didn't your mother say she wanted to live with us?" Liu Fang said, "She did, and Uncle Wang said so too, but I didn't agree. I still feel free to be alone."
I said, "Then come to my place. It's too lonely for you to be alone, and I'm worried about you."
Liu Fang wiped away her tears and said with a smile, "I'll only live with you when you marry me. Otherwise, I'll stay here."
I don't know when I'll marry Liu Fang. Looking at Liu Fang's smiling face in her sleep, Fei Fei's face flickers before my eyes.
Xiao Shan comes to the company every few days to look at documents. When she sees me, she acts like nothing's wrong, greeting me politely, even her hugs are just formalities.
I called Liu Yazhen.
I said, "Is Xiao Shan married or not?" Liu Yazhen said, "Ask her yourself, I don't know either. We haven't seen each other for years."
I said, "Is the child Xiao Shan's?" Liu Yazhen said, "It should be, otherwise, who would a woman take care of a child for?"
I said, "What does her husband do? Why hasn't he shown up?" Liu Yazhen laughed and said, "Why are you in such a hurry? I don't know either. Are you jealous?" I said, "No, I just feel that Xiao Shan's appearance this time is like a mystery."
Liu Yazhen said, "How is it a mystery? I think it's good."
I said, "A child, an unknown marriage, I don't know even if I ask. " "You keep changing the subject, I don't know what to do."
Liu Yazhen laughed for a long time before saying, "What can you do? Do you have to thoroughly investigate your best friend?" I said, "I don't want to investigate, I'm just worried. She's a girl, with a child, and doesn't have any relatives in Beijing."
Liu Yazhen said, "Isn't Feng Jinghan Xiaoshan's sister? Why don't you ask her?" I said, "She knows less than I do."
After hanging up the phone, Dou Dou came in and said, "Are you going on a spring outing?" I said irritably, "I hate spring outings."
Dou Dou said, "I know, it was that spring outing that made you like that. It's been so many years. Xiaoshan is taking Feifei on a spring outing... " "If you don't want to go, that's fine."
Upon hearing that Xiaoshan was taking Feifei on a spring outing, I quickly said, "I'll go, I'll go! Did Xiaoshan ask you to tell me?" Doudou pouted and said, "Don't be so smug. I just wanted to give you a chance. Besides, we need a driver."
I hurriedly said, "I'll be the driver. Being a driver is great."
I couldn't help but hum a song. Doudou said, "Look at you, so happy. Why aren't you happy that I'm going on the spring outing?" I said, "Do you know who Feifei's father is?" Doudou said, "She didn't tell me either. I asked Dad, and Dad said that Xiaoshan brought Feifei back with her, but he didn't say who her father was. There are many unmarried births in America." "No discrimination."
I said, "Xiaoshan isn't married?" Doudou said, "If she were married, she wouldn't have told me."
I said, "That's great."
Doudou smiled and said, "Do you want to rekindle your romance?" I smiled awkwardly and said, "Where do you want to go?" Doudou said, "Answer the question directly."
I said, "I really want to answer your question directly, but you won't agree."
Doudou turned her face away and murmured, "Can't you not talk about us? We're in the past."
I said, "But you're right in front of me."
Doudou said, "Do you want me to quit my job right now?" I said repeatedly, "No, no, I'm sorry, I won't say it again." "
Spring is beautiful, but actually spring has already passed. The summer sun just hasn't gotten hot yet. On the Kangxi Grassland, people couldn't wait to expose their arms and legs, just like the horses, wanting to frolic and roll around on the grass.
Dou Dou and Xiao Shan were dressed in shorts, their casual pants showing off their slender legs, but couldn't hide their round bottoms.
Fei Fei had never seen a grassland before, so she really rolled around on it. I was capturing every moment of her with my camera. I loved watching her laugh, watching her run, watching her pout and cry. Wherever Fei Fei ran, I followed. I don't know why, but being with Fei Fei made me as happy as a child.
Dou Dou, seeing me like this, said to Xiao Shan, 'Li Chao hasn't been this happy in a long time. It seems he and Fei Fei are really destined for each other.'
Xiao Shan said, 'If he's not destined for her, who is?'
After a pause, she added, 'He likes every girl he sees, and doesn't let any of them go.'
Dou Dou said, 'Fei Fei is just a child, talking nonsense.'
Xiao Shan said, 'I just said he likes girls.'" "
DouDou said, 'According to what you just said, FeiFei is...' XiaoShan immediately interrupted, 'Don't guess wildly. FeiFei's father is from South Korea. We're on good terms.'
DouDou laughed and said, 'I didn't realize you hadn't seen anyone in the months you've been in China. You're just hiding. I wonder how long you'll hide.' XiaoShan
said, 'Sister JingHan, when did you become such an old lady? So fussy.'
I walked over and said with a smile, 'An old lady like this would charm any old man.'
DouDou said, 'I'm not talking nonsense with you. FeiFei, come play with Auntie.'
DouDou's English is very good, and she had no problem communicating with FeiFei. FeiFei grabbed DouDou's hand and ran. The two of them ran into the bushes and started rolling around.
XiaoShan said, 'You're really good at coaxing children.'
I said, 'It's mainly because FeiFei and I get along so well. Can I adopt her as my daughter?' XiaoShan actually laughed, laughing until tears streamed down her face.
I said, 'If you don't want to, that's fine. What are you laughing at?' " "
Xiaoshan said, 'I'm laughing at you...laughing at you...' After laughing for a while or thinking for a while, she said, 'I'm laughing at you for being so young and not even married yet, but already thinking about becoming a godfather.'
I said, 'I like Feifei.'
Xiaoshan said decisively, 'No way, the moment I see you...' I laughed and said, 'What? Are you still thinking about that bar incident?' Xiaoshan said, 'What bar? I don't want to talk to you.'
Saying that, she looked into the distance.
I said, 'Xiaoshan, are we still friends?' Xiaoshan said, 'Of course, otherwise why would you go on a picnic with us?'
I said, 'I don't know what kind of changes have occurred in you, but I always feel that you are rejecting me. I'm sorry, and I don't want you to forgive me, but I really don't know how to face you.'
Xiaoshan laughed and said, 'You haven't wronged me, and I haven't rejected you. You're probably overthinking it. I'm still the same me, and you're still the same you. I don't feel that you've changed, but you feel that I have. It's clear that you didn't understand me before.'
I said, 'I probably really didn't understand you. '" Xiaoshan
lowered her head, kicking her toes, and softly hummed a song—an American country tune.
Just then, a horse galloped wildly towards us. Xiaoshan cried out and clung tightly to me. I turned and rolled aside with Xiaoshan in my arms, the horse's hooves trampling past us.
Watching the horse run away, Xiaoshan actually laughed.
I said, "How dangerous! And you still laugh?" Xiaoshan said, "You're really brave. I know you still care about me."
I said, "I've always cared about you."
Doudou and Feifei ran over, and we even hugged each other. Feifei called out "Mommy!" and jumped into their arms.
Doudou said, "We're just like a family."
Xiaoshan blushed, picked up Feifei, gave her a kiss, and then pulled her away.
The sun was already high in the sky, and a field of yellow wildflowers on the grassland attracted a swarm of butterflies.
Feifei called out, "Butterfly, butterfly!" "
Waving their hands, they chased after each other.
The yellow flowers, whose names they didn't know, were very bright among the green grass. Several bees buzzed and occasionally touched the pistil in the flower, so the butterflies could only dance on the petals."
I took off my clothes and casually covered them with several butterflies. Slowly lifting the hem, I caught a red and blue butterfly and placed it in Fei Fei's hand. Fei Fei jumped up happily, muttering something incomprehensible in English.
Dou Dou said, "This child is good at everything, except she can't speak Chinese."
Xiao Shan said, "I deliberately didn't teach her."
I asked, "Why?" Xiao Shan said, "To prevent bad people from using sweet talk. The Chinese language is too rich; a child can easily be fooled."
I vaguely sensed that this was directed at me, so I laughed and said, "There are bad people in America too. It doesn't mean we shouldn't let children speak."
Dou Dou chimed in.
Fei Fei looked at the butterfly in her hand and smiled. The outdoor wind made her smiling face flushed red, and I couldn't resist giving her a kiss.
Xiaoshan said, "See? Someone can easily take advantage of you."
I smiled, and Doudou laughed, saying, "Look at you, you get jealous over a child's kiss."
Xiaoshan said, "Why would I be jealous? It's just that some people can't resist."
I couldn't stand Xiaoshan's sharp tongue, so I pulled Feifei to the flowerbed. I said, "Feifei, aren't the butterflies pretty?" Feifei nodded.
I said, "But after we've admired them, shouldn't we release them back into nature so they can fly away?" Feifei nodded again.
I placed the butterfly in my palm, released its wings, and the butterfly actually stood in my hand, fluttering its wings from time to time, without flying away.
Feifei waved her little hand, and the butterfly flew up, hovering above Feifei's head. Feifei tilted her head back and laughed, blowing upwards from time to time. The butterfly, like a balloon, danced up and down with Feifei's movements.

184. The scenery of the grassland at night is beautiful .
Doudou saw that we were having a lot of fun, so she picked up the camera and started filming.
Xiaoshan said, "Don't film, I don't want Feifei to have his shadow in her picture." "
DouDou said, 'You're still jealous of your daughter.'
But her hands didn't stop.
XiaoShan laughed and said, 'Look at him, he looks just like your own daughter.'
DouDou said, 'I also want a child to play with.'
XiaoShan said, 'Then have one.'
DouDou said, 'But who should we have it with?' XiaoShan said, 'Whoever you want.'
DouDou said, 'This isn't America, China still values family.'
XiaoShan said quietly, 'Who says America doesn't value family?' She sighed and said, 'Who doesn't want a warm home and a child?'
DouDou said, 'You already have one, why are you sighing?' XiaoShan laughed, came over, picked up FeiFei, and said, 'This is my home.'
I said, 'Let's take a picture together.'
XiaoShan and DouDou, holding the baby, smiled and took a picture.
DouDou said, 'Let's take one together too.'
Seeing a few people coming over, she went up to ask for help. A young man readily agreed.
I held FeiFei, and DouDou and XiaoShan sat next to me, smiling."
After taking the photos, the young man said, "Your daughter is so cute and beautiful. Which one is the mother? They're both so pretty, I really can't tell."
I smiled and said, "Guess."
The young man looked at the two women carefully, then shook his head after a long time and said, "I can't tell, but you can see that her eyes look like yours."
I said, "My eyes are so small, Feifei has big eyes."
The young man said, "But when she smiles
, she looks like you." I looked at Feifei carefully and was speechless.
Xiaoshan said, "Thank you, I'm the mother."
The young man said, "These days, pretty young girls like you don't have children this big. They must belong to someone else."
The men and women behind him urged him on, and the young man left, turning back to say to me, "You're so lucky to have such a beautiful daughter with eyes like yours."
I said, "Are you complimenting me?"
Doudou laughed, tears welling up in her eyes. Xiaoshan laughed too, Feifei laughed too, and I laughed along with her.
Xiaoshan said, "Let's camp in the wild tonight."
Doudou excitedly said, "Great! But we didn't bring a tent."
I said, "There are yurts over there, we can stay together." "
Xiaoshan said, 'I don't want to live with a man.'
Feifei leaned against me and said, 'Ido, Ido.'
Doudou said, 'Feifei agreed.'
That evening, I asked the chef to roast a whole lamb. Xiaoshan acted like she'd never eaten before, praising it as she ate. The chef, receiving praise from the beautiful woman, started talking about Mongolian hospitality: Mongolians usually eat hand-pulled mutton. Roasted whole lamb used to be reserved for ceremonies or Ovoo worship, but now it's a special dish for grand festivals or welcoming distinguished guests. When eating hand-pulled mutton, the lamb's shoulder blade with meat and four long ribs are usually given to the guest.
I said, 'What if we eat beef?'" The chef, unaware that I was testing him, boasted, "If beef is served to guests, a piece of vertebrae with meat on it, half a rib, and a section of intestine are given."
I asked, "And for honored guests?" The chef, thinking I was curious, wore a smug look and said, "That's a whole lamb feast. A whole lamb feast includes the shinbone, limbs, ribs, thoracic vertebrae, and lamb's head, plus lamb's heart, liver, rectum, and stomach. All are poured into a large pot, and once the water heats up, a certain amount of cooked sour milk is added and simmered. The intestines, stomach, heart, liver, and the singed lamb's head are cooked separately until tender. When the feast begins, the cooked parts are placed on a large platter, tail facing outwards. A cross symbolizing good fortune is carved on the lamb's head before serving. When eating, the host invites the guests to cut the shinbone, or the elder makes the first cut, and then everyone eats together."
Dou Dou laughed and said, "He's a Mongolian; he's testing you."
The chef blushed and said, "I don't know if I'm right." "
I said, 'Yes, and there's also the Mongolian dish of stuffed intestines, but they don't make it anymore.'
The chef said, 'I can still make it, but people think it's unhygienic to make it that way now.'
Xiaoshan said, 'How do you make it? Tell me.'
I said, 'You take a lung and push out the feces, don't wash it, turn it inside out, stuff it with high-quality minced meat, and cook it in a pot. It's delicious.'
Xiaoshan laughed and said, 'It is unhygienic enough.'
I said, 'Sheep eat grass. Mongolians not only worship eagles, but also the grasslands that bring food, so grass is the cleanest thing in the eyes of Mongolians.'
Doudou said, 'I'm not going to talk about it anymore, I won't be able to eat in a little while.' " "
The moonlight was beautiful that night, and we could hear the chirping of insects and birds.
Feifei fell asleep in the yurt, and the two women and I watched the stars in the night sky for a while before lying down on the felt mat, fully clothed.
Perhaps we were too tired, because Doudou and Xiaoshan said they would fall asleep soon, but I couldn't sleep. Looking at Xiaoshan's open chest, her breasts were exposed, and Doudou's were also exposed. I had just covered them up when the two women simultaneously put their arms on my chest. I didn't know whether I should move them away."
I was still basking in the joy of the Kangxi Grassland when I hummed a song as I arrived at my office. Unexpectedly, Meng Linghui was already there, waiting for me. I said, "Good morning! I didn't expect Mr. Meng to have time to come see me." Meng Linghui said, "I'm not here to see you, I'm here to beg you." I said, "Begging me for what?" Meng Linghui said, "I'm begging you to marry Jinghan to me." I said, "You'll have to talk to Feng Zhiyuan about that; he's Jinghan's father. I'm just her boss." Meng Linghui said, "At the Wanlixing event, Jinghan said she'd only consider it if you agreed."
I sighed deeply and said, "I won't lie to you, Jinghan and I did date before, and I love her very much, but marriage is a serious matter. It's up to Jinghan to decide." Meng Linghui said, "I don't want to know what your relationship was before. I only know I love her. From now on, she's my everything, and no one can hurt her." I said, "You can tell these things to Jinghan." "Meng Linghui said, 'I've already said it, I've been despicable before, but I don't regret that despicable act, because that act made me suddenly realize where my world is—it's Jinghan.' I said, 'I'm very touched by your honesty, but feelings aren't a one-sided affair.' Meng Linghui's eyes shone with happiness as she said, 'Jinghan and I got along very well during the Wanlixing event.' I said, 'That was just work.' Meng Linghui said, 'I don't consider it work. I love how she smiles when she talks to me, I love how she gently holds my hand when we cross the street, I love how she playfully scolds me when I wolf down my food.'

185. New Love and Old Love, Both Lost in Confusion
Meng Linghui was already lost in memories, and a pang of jealousy made my chest ache.
Meng Linghui said, 'My world is all about Jinghan. I know I've wronged her, but for her, I'm willing to give everything.'
As she spoke, she took out a document and handed it to me. It was a share transfer agreement, an agreement that once Doudou signed it, all of Meng Linghui's assets would belong to Doudou."
Looking at this agreement, I couldn't help but admire this man. He truly gave everything for love. I lowered my head in shame.
Meng Linghui said, "I never expected Jinghan to be so kind. When I choked on fish, she cried so hard and accompanied me to the hospital. At that moment, I fell completely in love with her. I treated her like that, yet she treated me like this, repaying evil with kindness. I'm a man; I still have a heart. From that moment on, I secretly vowed that as long as I'm here, I won't let anyone hurt Jinghan again."
The image of Doudou looking at Meng Linghui with tears in her eyes flashed through my mind. If it were me, could she have acted that way? In my world with Jinghan, she was like a little lamb, lazily lying on the sofa. I stroked her face, seeing only her sad tears. I never made her anxious, only heartbroken. I made her laugh, and I made her cry. But a woman who loved me never worried for me.
Meng Linghui said, "I choked and could only eat liquids. Jinghan fed me rice porridge, blowing on it just right. I felt so sweet inside. I know she's forgiven me, but I know she hasn't fallen in love with me yet."
Listening to Meng Linghui's words, what could I say? A woman who hates him so much feeding him wouldn't happen unless he did something to move her. And that kind of emotion should come from the heart. I don't know how Meng Linghui did it, but have I ever done anything to move Dou Dou? What have I done for Dou Dou? We laughed together, we dreamed together, but each time it was fleeting, without any deeply painful memories or hidden shame. We only had a legendary encounter, youthful impulsiveness, and repeated hurts in love.
I have no right to decide Dou Dou's happiness; only she can decide.
Dou Dou blushed when she saw Meng Linghui.
I said, "You two talk, I'll go out."
Meng Linghui said, "You don't need to go out."
Then he suddenly knelt down in front of Dou Dou and said, "Jing Han, I love you. Everything I have is yours. Without you, I can only wait to die."
He then took the agreement and said, "Whether you agree or not, I want to write your name on this paper so I can have a keepsake."
Dou Dou was a little confused, not knowing what the document was, and blankly wrote her name.
I smiled bitterly and said, "Jing Han, take a close look at these papers. These papers might be worth hundreds of millions."
After Dou Dou looked carefully, she knelt down with Meng Linghui, crying, "How could you be so foolish?"
I walked out of the office, my heart aching and sore, not knowing what to feel.
A man gave everything for Dou Dou's love—would Dou Dou agree? Did Dou Dou still love me? I could see Dou Dou waving at me in the distance, not sure if it was a wave or a goodbye.
Meng Linghui left, and Dou Dou returned to her seat with red eyes. My heart was lost and directionless.
I picked up the phone and called Liu Fang.
Liu Fang said, "What's wrong? I'm busy right now. How about I have lunch with you?" I said, "No, I'm fine."
I then dialed Wang Dan's number, but the line was busy, and the busy tone kept ringing.
I then dialed Zheng Ye's number, and a soft voice came through the phone: "Did you miss me?" I said, "Yes."
Zheng Ye said, "I can tell you're feeling bad. What's wrong? Is it something to do with business? Don't be so eager for quick success."
I said, "No."
Zheng Ye said, "Then it's about feelings. I won't say anymore. Feelings are hard to explain. Are you feeling bad? I'll sing you a song. What do you want to hear?" I said, "I want to hear 'Eighteen Miles of Farewell,' I want it to be a Yue Opera."
Zheng Ye giggled and began to sing: "Clear lotus leaves in the clear pond, mandarin ducks in pairs, Brother Liang, if Yingtai were a woman in red, would you be willing to be paired with a mandarin duck?" "
Am I willing to be a couple? Dou Dou loved me so much, and I proposed marriage more than once, but it never came to fruition. Did Dou Dou not want to? Am I really not a man worthy of entrusting my life to?" Zheng Ye continued singing, so tenderly, as if caressing my chest, wanting to know if my chest was suffocating and about to burst, so she gently stroked it up and down.
"It's my little ninth sister, I wonder if your brother Liang likes her... Brother Liang, come and carry my bridal sedan chair soon."
Who will carry my bridal sedan chair?
Zheng Ye finished singing and continued humming the tune, as if afraid I hadn't recovered yet.
I said, "I miss you, I want to see you."
Zheng Ye said, "Tonight at nine o'clock, there's a dance performance on Shanghai TV. You'll see me when you watch TV."
I said, "I'll definitely watch TV tonight. I haven't watched TV in so long."
Zheng Ye said, "Watching TV can kill time, it can also wear down your will, and it might even dispel a lot of sorrow." "
Liu Fang didn't come over for lunch; she was very busy. Dou Dou seemed to be avoiding me, and Wang Feng seemed to have disappeared as well. Seeing the large pieces of braised pork, I suddenly had an appetite and started stuffing my face with food.
Wang Feng's secretary, Zhang Shan, came over and said with a smile, 'No one's going to take it from you, what's the rush?' I looked at Zhang Shan and asked, 'Where's Wang Feng?' Zhang Shan said, 'He seems to have gone to a meeting at the Ministry of Information Industry; he left early.'
I said, 'You've become more and more beautiful lately.
' Zhang Shan said, 'Really?' She just kept eating and didn't say anything more. I
said, 'You get shy when I say you're beautiful?' Zhang Shan said, 'You're just embarrassing me. I feel awkward.'
I said, 'Don't all girls like pretty girls?' Zhang Shan said, 'You can't be too direct. President Wang isn't like you.'
I said, 'Wang Feng is gentle, but I can't imitate that.'
Zhang Shan sighed for some reason, then suddenly seemed to realize something and said, 'You're bad. Many girls say you're bad, and now I believe it.'"
I was a little surprised and said, "What did they say? Let me hear it."
Zhang Shan said, "Everyone says you're mostly cute, but a bit slippery."
I said, "I rarely interact with girls at the company, so how can I be slippery?" Zhang Shan said, "You always have hidden meanings in your words; I don't know what you're trying to say."
I said, "I'm very straightforward, not like what you say."
Zhang Shan said, "Women's intuition is very sensitive; sometimes, just one sentence is enough."
I shook my head and said, "Women..."
After a while, Zhang Shan said, "Mr. Li, you're over thirty, why aren't you married?" I said, "Nobody's interested in me."
Zhang Shan said, "Really? I've seen you with several girls; anyone can see that Jinghan likes you a lot, and you like her too."
I smiled bitterly, and couldn't eat my braised pork anymore.
I didn't even listen to Zhang Shan's apology before walking out of the restaurant.
I wanted to talk to someone, but I didn't know what to say. Yet, I still wanted someone to be in front of me, not saying a word, just watching.
I walked down the street like a ghost, my eyes fixed on the pavement, afraid of falling.
I sat like a leisurely idler on a stone bench in the park. A few leaves, unable to withstand the scorching heat, slowly drifted down and landed at my feet. I picked them up and looked at them.
The leaves were still green, their veins still clearly visible, but the edges were curled up, like the face of an old woman drained of moisture.
Several elderly people were playing chess, while an old man was teasing a bird.
I went up to him and said, "Everyone watches birds in the early morning, you must be quite something."
The old man said, "I watch them at noon. The hotter it is in the sun, the more I enjoy it. Look, the bird likes it too."
I asked him why, puzzled. The old man chuckled and said, "Who doesn't like sunshine? There's life without sunshine."
I said, "It's not just sunshine, there's water too."
The old man said, "Everyone has their own way of living. Some people like to stroll in the morning, some like to walk in the evening, I like to watch birds at noon."
An old man next to me also said, "People say birds stop singing at noon, but this old man has really trained the birds to sing."
The old man said, "Why bother singing? Silence is enough." "Ugh, I didn't train it, it just started chirping on its own."
The old man played with the bird for a while, then chuckled and said, "Playing chess is for killing time, and so is playing with birds. The less time you have, the more you want it to move faster. It's such a contradiction."
I said, "Playing chess isn't about winning, it's just about killing time.
" The old man said, "Don't you go to work to kill time?"
I said, "I go to work to make a living." The old man said, "
Do you think time flies by faster in the park or at work?" I said, "At work." The old man said, "Isn't that killing time even faster?" I nodded and said, "That's true. If I weren't working, I'd kill
time faster in the park than at home." The old man said, "Killing time quickly is happiness. I'm happier in the park than at home, and happier at work than in the park."
I said, "Yes, you're absolutely right. People say working is the most beautiful thing."
The old man next to me said, "He has a whole set of twisted logic."
The old man chuckled and said, "Young man, are you heartbroken?" "I said, 'You could say that, or you could say that, but how did you figure it out?'
The old man said, 'She's dressed neatly, clearly a white-collar worker, but sitting on a dirt stone bench. If her mind wasn't in turmoil, she'd be running away in a heartbeat.'
I sighed and looked at the bird.
The old man said, 'Young man, you need to let go. Letting go of the old brings new.'
I said, 'I'm not one to be fickle.'
The old man said, 'It's not about being fickle, it's about letting go. That's how relationships are; the more you hold on, the more chaotic things become.'
The old man next to me said, 'Old Wang's wife just died a few days ago, and he's already married a young girl. I don't know if it's a blessing or a curse.'
The old man said, 'Of course it's a blessing. Why don't you marry one and see?'
The old man next to me said, 'I don't think I dare. I still have a wife.'
The old man said, 'Then you can't let go, so you don't have the blessing of romance.'
I said quietly, 'If I had the blessing of romance, could I let go? '" The old man
didn't answer, shook his head, and went to tease the birds. I walked out of the park and lingered on the street, not knowing how to let go, or what to let go of.

186. Zheng Ye came to the rescue.
I was sitting on the sofa, having been there since seven o'clock, with the channel set to Shanghai TV. The volume was loud, and I stared at the screen, my eyes filled with Zheng Ye's face. Zheng Ye came down from the TV, dancing, performing "Shy Flower," blooming shyly right before my eyes. I even started dancing along.
Zheng Ye said, "I didn't realize you were so sad. I don't know if you lost love, or if you never had it at all."
I shouted, "I lost love, I had it before."
Zheng Ye smiled and said, "But your heart is empty. Losing something should leave a trace."
I said, "There are traces, many traces. If you don't believe me, look."
Zheng Ye said, "Then I'll go in and take a look."
Saying that, she actually opened her chest and looked closely at her heart.
I said, "Do you see it?" "Zheng Ye said, 'No, I only saw names, not traces.'
I said, 'Look carefully.'
Zheng Ye said, 'I looked very carefully, even the corners. I saw tears, and I saw nameless joy, but no trace of love.'
I said, 'Aren't tears traces?' Zheng Ye said, 'Tears only represent sadness for love.'
I said, 'What about joy?' Zheng Ye said, 'Joy only represents that you have tasted love.'
I said, 'Then what exactly is the trace of love?' Zheng Ye said, 'It's something etched in your bones. You can't explain it, but it's subtly engraved in your heart, you think about it all the time, and even without sex or physical contact, you can feel its presence.'
I said, 'Have I really never loved?' Zheng Ye said, 'Think carefully, or rather, what do you think love is?'
I said, 'What is love?' Zheng Ye said, 'I can't explain what love is, but I love you. When you're hungry, I cook for you; when you're thirsty, I pour you water; when you're sad, I sing to you.'" "
I said, 'What if I get a fishbone problem?' Zheng Ye said, 'I'll go to the hospital with you.'
I said, 'What if I can only drink porridge?' Zheng Ye said, 'I'll cook porridge for you, then blow on it to cool it down before feeding you.'
I said, 'Then how can I show my love for you?' Zheng Ye said, 'I don't know. I only know that this is how I love you. Don't you know how to love others?' I murmured, 'I don't know. I really don't know. I want to love others, but I don't know how.'
Zheng Ye said, 'Then why don't you try to love someone properly?' I shook my head, shaking it so hard I didn't even feel the pain.
My heart ached. I lost Dou Dou. Even when I married Jiang Bolun, I didn't feel this way. But this time, my heart was empty, without any reason or excuse. It was empty all of a sudden, without even a trace."
Liu Fang didn't call; she was probably too busy. Xiao Shan didn't call either; Fei Fei was probably playing with her. Ma Ling was probably tutoring her child. Zhou Bing? Maybe she was having tea with her husband…
At nine o'clock, Zheng Ye finally appeared on TV. Her dance was no longer melancholic, but the resonance with her heart was even stronger.
Apart from the music, the venue was completely silent. Zheng Ye was like a happy angel, spreading joy on the stage. Was this for me too? Zheng Ye smiled and said to me, "With joy, you won't feel empty. Hurry up and fill your heart to the brim."
I said, "How do I fill it?" Zheng Ye said, "When you smile, you fill it up. Happiness is smiling. When you smile, happiness comes."
I smiled like a child.
My mood gradually improved, and then the doorbell rang.
I opened the door, and Zheng Ye was really standing in front of me.
I stood there for a moment, then hugged Zheng Ye tightly and wouldn't let go.
Zheng Ye said, "You've been hugging me for fifteen minutes, and you haven't even invited me inside. You
're just standing at the door, aren't you afraid people will laugh at you?" So I carried Zheng Ye inside, sat on the sofa, and hugged her in my arms. Zheng Ye said, "You're very obedient, you really watched my performance."
I said, "You were on TV, how did you end up in Beijing?" Zheng Ye laughed and said, "It was a pre-recorded show. As soon as I heard your tone, I knew you were hurt, and hurt badly, so I couldn't sit still anymore and bought a plane ticket for six o'clock."
I murmured, "I thought it was a hallucination, that you came down from the TV, that you saw me sad on TV, and that's why you came down."
As I said this, I hugged her tightly again.
Zheng Ye laughed and said, "Any tighter and my back will break. I'm here, it's not a hallucination, I'm real. If you don't believe me, touch it."
I touched it and felt her warm breasts.
Zheng Ye laughed and said, "You're still not badly hurt; you're already up to no good when you touch me."
Zheng Ye turned around, rested her head on my chest, and gently stroked it with her hand. I sighed and said, "It feels so good, like an iron."
Zheng Ye said, "You haven't eaten yet, have you?" I said, "No, how could I eat?"
Zheng Ye laughed and said, "Seeing you makes me forget everything. I knew you hadn't eaten, so I bought some groceries at the community service center. They're still outside."
Saying that, she opened the door and brought the groceries in.
Once in the kitchen, she smiled and said, "Come in and help me prepare the vegetables; I'll cook you some side dishes."
Looking at the lush green rapeseed, each leaf glistening, my mood improved considerably.
I carefully prepared the vegetables, neatly arranging each leaf.
Zheng Ye said, "I didn't realize you were such a proper man." I asked, "How did you know?" Zheng Ye said, "I saw how neatly you arranged the vegetables. It shows your mind is no longer in turmoil."
I said, "Seeing you makes me feel so much better. I thought no one wanted me anymore."
Zheng Ye said, "I need you. Pick the bok choy too, and wash it clean."
I agreed and got to work. A warmth I'd never felt before welled up inside me, and the knot in my heart gradually untied.
Four small dishes and a bowl of rice—it was an ordinary dinner, but I ate with great relish. I didn't even bother with the wine; I devoured it all in no time.
I said, "Home-cooked food always tastes so good. I want to eat at home every day from now on."
Zheng Ye sipped his wine and said with a smile, "Want another drink?" I said, "Yes."
I clinked glasses with Zheng Ye and drank it all in one gulp.
Zheng Ye said, "You're still a man, what can't you let go of? The world is beautiful every day."
I said, "I know, I understand when I see the green rapeseed."
Zheng Ye said, "I understand when I see rapeseed, but I'm superfluous."
I laughed and said, "You're superfluous in this world, so send yourself to me, you'll fill my void."
Zheng Ye laughed and said, "I'm the firefighter, and from now on, my electrical wire."
I said, "If only firefighters were also chefs."
Then I went over, took Zheng Ye's hand, and said, "I want to eat your cooking every day."
Zheng Ye laughed and said, "Really?" I said, "Really."
Zheng Ye said, "What if I don't want to cook?" I said, "Then I'll cook for you every day."
Zheng Ye laughed, a very gentle laugh, and hugged my waist, saying, "Can you let go? If you really let go, we might both feel relieved."
What can I let go of? Maybe all the glamour has passed, maybe all the passion has vanished, maybe only reason remains in my memory. I don't know what I can let go of, and I don't know what I can't let go of.
I picked up the phone and called Zhang Shan.
Zhang Shan seemed surprised; I realized I hadn't called her since leaving work.
I said, "Tell Feng Jinghan I've given her a long vacation and she can hand over her duties to you tomorrow."
Zhang Shan said, "Just this? I thought there was a fire."
I said, "Yes, there was a fire, but the firefighters just arrived and put it out."
Zhang Shan said, "That's a big deal. Why don't you just tell her directly?" I said, "Call her now."
Zhang Shan said, "But what should I ask?" I said, "She won't ask. Just call."
Zheng Ye looked at me and smiled, saying, "Maybe you really have let go."
I said, "I haven't let go."
I picked up Zheng Ye and said, "I'm holding you again."
Zheng Ye smiled, a faint smile.
I said, "Why don't you ask me why I'm like this?" Zheng Ye said, "Ask what? It's just a relationship. Asking will only make you feel bad again, so why should I ask?" I said, "Then what do you want me to let go of?" Zheng Ye said, "Sparks are most easily ignited in romantic relationships, but even if they fade away in an instant, it's hard to let go of the memories. Besides, you might not be a simple spark. It's better to let go than to struggle in a whirlpool. Once you let go, you'll find that the whirlpool never existed."
I said, "You've become a theorist, my firefighter comrade."
Zheng Ye turned away, smiling, and said, "I don't want to be a firefighter, crawling around in the fire, not knowing when I'll burn myself. You can't heal yourself, and even a firefighter might not be able to save himself."
I said, "Will you be my wife?" Zheng Ye looked at me, stunned for a long time, and then smiled and said, "You want to marry me?" I nodded sincerely.
Zheng Ye said, "You should think about it carefully. If you marry me, you'll have to let me take care of you for the rest of your life."
I said, "I've thought it through, I want you."
Zheng Ye threw herself into my arms and cried. After crying for a long time, she finally said, "Do you think I don't want to?" I said, "If you do, then marry me." Zheng Ye said, "
When I dance, I feel like you're in front of me. When you touch me, I get shy; when you kiss me, I smile; when you leave me, I feel sad."
I stroked her back and said, "I won't leave you. I'll stay with you."
Zheng Ye hugged me tightly for a moment, then pulled away from my arms and smiled, saying, "I'm already very content. Giving you time is also giving myself time, okay?" Looking at Zheng Ye's smile, I nodded involuntarily.
Zheng Ye made a flying motion and said coquettishly, "Then why don't you hold me and go to sleep? Or I'll fly away."
I put Zheng Ye on the bed, and we both stripped naked, crawled under the covers, and lay side by side.
Zheng Ye said, "I've never been like this with you before."
I said, "I like being with you like this."
Zheng Ye said, "Holding your hand, it feels so close yet so far."
I said, "If you still think it's too far, I'll just have to hug you, then I'll be right next to you, our skin touching."
Zheng Ye then rolled over and lay on top of me, her fingers tracing my chest, and said softly, "Do you love me?"
Do I love you? Am I grateful or in love? Her presence makes me feel better, more at ease, and my chest feels less tight.
But lying on top of me, her breasts pressing tightly against my chest, I suddenly felt nervous. I hadn't thought of passion, hadn't thought of bitterness; like giving my first speech, my heart was pounding.
Zheng Ye said, "I don't need your answer, I just want to say it."
I didn't answer, but Zheng Ye laughed, a very seductive laugh, and one hand went down to touch me. I
said, "From now on, we'll sleep like this every day."
Zheng Ye said, "It'll be convenient, but your body won't be able to handle it."
I said, "To die under a peony is to die romantically, even as a ghost."
Zheng Ye laughed and said, "Die under a peony, my foot! You've been touching me for so long and it's still soft. Are you thinking about something again, or is it something I'm not good for?" I said, "No, I'm just a little nervous, like the first time we slept together."
Zheng Ye said coquettishly, "Still being stubborn. You always have so many things on your mind. You're thinking about things, so you're being stubborn, but you're not hard down there."
I touched my breasts, the burning in my eyes unable to hide the emptiness. Zheng Ye said, "Judging from your expression, I know you're thinking about other women again. I'll give you time, don't worry."
Saying that, she crawled into the blanket and started eating me. After eating me for a while, it was still soft, so Zheng Ye came out and said, "Let it warm up inside."
I said, "How can I go in if it's not hard?" "Zheng Ye smiled and said, 'I have a way.'
She put some saliva on it, then placed it underneath and nestled it in, and it went in a little bit.
Zheng Ye kissed my lips and chest from time to time, her breasts lightly touching my face and chest like dragonflies skimming the water.
I said, 'I don't know what good deeds I did in my past life to be able to have you, I'm content.'
Zheng Ye said, 'If I can't even make you hard, you're content, but how can I be content?' She then wiggled her hips.
I said, 'Don't you feel it getting harder?'
Zheng Ye nodded and licked my nipples with the tip of her tongue, making my whole body tingle. "
Zheng Ye laughed and said, "So this is where you're most sensitive. One lick and you're hard. All that effort for nothing!"
I said, "Weren't you eating an ice pop?" Zheng Ye said, "I like the ice pop to melt slowly inside; licking it is like savoring the flavor."
I said, "It's more like savoring tea."
Zheng Ye said, "Don't you feel like I'm savoring tea every time I'm with you?" I shook my head.
Zheng Ye said leisurely, "I don't know when I'll be with you again, so of course I'll savor you slowly."
I said, "I'm just a side dish."
Zheng Ye said, "You are my side dish, the side dish I want to eat every day."
Saying this, she kissed me, getting up forcefully.
The warm sunlight shone on me, and Zheng Ye opened her eyes and smiled.

187. My daughter's godfather and DouDou
: I said, "What are you laughing at? Haven't you ever seen the morning sun?" Zheng Ye said, "I've never seen the morning sun with you."
I said, "So we've always made love in the dark."
Zheng Ye said, "Nobody does that on the street."
I said, "The morning sun is so nice, not too hot, not too cold."
Zheng Ye said, "The morning sun is also an aphrodisiac; look how hard you are, it's hurting me."
I said, "Why didn't you let it out? Let it see the sunlight too."
Zheng Ye said, "I didn't expect you to be so gentle last night, as gentle as a cat."
I said, "Do you want me to be more intense?" Zheng Ye rolled her eyes at me and said, "What woman doesn't want to be gentle? Seeing how upset you are, you're just taking it out on me."
I laughed and touched her, saying, "You really are like an air pump; how come I didn't think of that?"
Zheng Ye shouted, "Don't say that!"
I said, "What else is it but an air pump? In a few days, I'll puff your belly up."
Zheng Ye laughed and said, "I really love children."
Speaking of children, I think of Fei Fei.
Xiaoshan invited me to dinner that evening, but I said I had guests at home and it wasn't convenient.
Xiaoshan said, "Jinghan and I talked all night yesterday. Don't you want to know what we talked about?" Hearing Jinghan's name made my heart tighten again.
I agreed to Xiaoshan's invitation and went straight home. Zhengye was playing the piano, playing "The Butterfly Lovers."
I leaned against the piano and listened quietly.
The love story of Liang Shanbo and Zhu Yingtai is almost universally known. As for the tragic and moving story itself, I don't particularly like it. I prefer a bittersweet story, like "The Bridges of Madison County." But the allure of tragedy is irresistible. "The Bridges of Madison County" vanishes when you wake up, but the colorful wings of the butterfly have touched the hearts of countless young lovers, influencing and inspiring countless people to pursue the freedom of love and the liberation of individuality, even at the cost of their lives.
Zhengye's slender fingers danced across the black and white keys. She looked up at me and smiled.
The music seemed to brighten, the butterflies danced more joyfully, the graves disappeared, the dark clouds vanished, and the blue sky appeared.
I love that the sky is blue, and I love that rainbows hang in the blue sky. No rain, no dark clouds, just a rainbow. But a blue sky doesn't produce rainbows. White clouds can float in the blue sky, but rainbows can't appear; they only appear after rain.
Butterflies dancing with a rainbow—wouldn't that be even more beautiful?
Zheng Ye played the entire movement, and I saw butterflies playing, and I saw mandarin ducks entwined.
I heard the warm whispers of love in the Wu dialect, and I heard the poignant farewells.
I seemed to see butterflies playing with a rainbow, and I saw tearful eyes.
I heard desperate shouts, and I heard helpless groans.
I seemed to see a grave cleaved by lightning under the dark clouds, and I saw butterflies struggling to flap their wings towards the clouds.
I truly saw butterflies dancing with a rainbow.
I also saw Zheng Ye's smiling face.
Zheng Ye said, "You're such a sentimental person, you don't even want women to like you."
I said, "I'm going on a date with a woman tonight, do you agree?" Zheng Ye smiled and said, "Go ahead, but be careful, don't be too impulsive."
I said, "Do you know who it is?" Zheng Ye said, "No, I just hope you come home early."
I said, "I'll definitely come home early."
We both emphasized "home" a lot.
Xiao Shan hadn't vacated her apartment at the Wangfujing Hotel yet. She was wearing a long dress, her hair falling over her shoulders, and she smiled when she saw me.
I said, "This is the first time you've been this happy since we came back to China."
Xiaoshan said, "How can I not be happy knowing someone cares about me?" I said, "Why didn't you go to a bar for drinks, but came to a restaurant instead?"
Just then, a restaurant staff member pushed in a food cart.
A bottle of fine French red wine, a plate of steak, a plate of grilled shrimp, a vegetable salad, and several exquisitely crafted cakes.
I said, "You certainly know how to enjoy life."
Xiaoshan said, "This is all thanks to American culture. Isn't it often said that Chinese old ladies don't move into a new house until they're sixty, while American old ladies still haven't finished paying off their mortgages by sixty?" I said, "Yes, two completely different cultures."
The steak was tender, the grilled shrimp was fragrant, and the red wine lingered on my tongue, as if searching for that bittersweet feeling.
Xiaoshan said, "Bars are too noisy and crowded. It's quiet here, perfect for chatting."
I said, "We haven't chatted in a long time."
Xiaoshan said, "I wonder if we can still chat."
I said, "As long as we can chat, we can."
Xiaoshan said, "Do you like Feifei?" I said, "Yes, I like her very much."
Xiaoshan laughed and said, "I can't acknowledge a godfather, but I can let you play with her every now and then. Being with a nanny is too effeminate." I
said, "Why isn't her father with you?" Xiaoshan said, "He's busy with work, he's always in South Korea."
I said, "Feifei is already of school age, and you got married as soon as you arrived in America?" Xiaoshan paused, then laughed and said, "Can't see the past? Is love at first sight not allowed?" I said, "Allowed, allowed, love at first sight is romantic."
Xiaoshan said, "Have you been watching over Jinghan all this time?" I said, "I don't know, but I know it's gone now. I'm not as good as Mengling, Mengling is a man."
Xiaoshan said, "What woman doesn't want her man to give up everything for her, but giving up everything doesn't guarantee a woman's love."
I said, "Jinghan has already gotten it."
Xiaoshan said, "How do you know?" I said, "I saw Jinghan's eyes, and I felt my own heartache."
Xiaoshan said, "Women can't hide their eyes, but they can all act."
I laughed and downed my drink.
Xiaoshan said, "Do you want to know what Sister Jinghan thinks?" I said, "Actually, I really want to know, but what's the use of knowing?"
Xiaoshan said, "That's true. People come and go like autumn geese, leaving no trace; events are like spring dreams, leaving no trace. Some things are better left unsaid."
I said, "But I feel like I can't be oblivious when it comes to feelings."
Xiaoshan said, "Yes, even in old age, one can still recall youthful memories."
I said, "And perhaps passion too."
Xiaoshan smiled, a very sweet smile.
I said, "This is the first time I've seen you dressed like this. The short skirt is gone, replaced by a long skirt. Less cleavage is showing, but I see even greater allure. Your hair is straight, yet you look more innocent."
Xiaoshan laughed and said, "I still look innocent?" I said, "Very innocent, except you speak more maturely."
Seeing Xiaoshan's shy smile, I said, "What did you two talk about all night?" Xiaoshan said, "You want to know again?" I said, "I just want to know what you're thinking."
Xiaoshan said, "I still admire you; you didn't even stay up all night."
I said: "What do you mean, not even overnight?" Xiaoshan said, "Sister Jinghan is right here with me. She just had her secretary call, making it sound so polite, asking for an extended leave. How could you even think of that?"
I said, "I don't want to hold her back any longer."
Xiaoshan said, "She cried then, very loudly, something I'd never seen before, but I couldn't tell if
she was happy or sad." I said, "I don't know if I'm happy or sad either."
Xiaoshan said, "Me too, but I sensed a hint of bitterness in Sister Jinghan's voice."
How could I not feel bitterness? But could I really give Doudou happiness? I didn't know. I didn't have Meng Linghui's courage, nor his boldness, but was I truly untrustworthy and unreliable in Doudou's heart? I stepped forward and took Xiaoshan's hand, saying, "What exactly did Jinghan say?" Xiaoshan smiled and said, "Do you really want to know?" I nodded.
Xiaoshan smiled and stood up, pacing back and forth in the room.
I said, "Tell me quickly, I'm dying to tell you."
Xiaoshan said, "You have to promise me one thing, and I'll tell you."
Without hesitation, I said, "I promise, what is it?" Xiaoshan said, "You can never bother Sister Jinghan again."
I said, "Why?" Xiaoshan said, "I knew you wouldn't agree. The faster you agree, the easier it is to break your promise."
I said, "As long as it's good for Jinghan, I promise."
Xiaoshan said, "How could I hurt Sister Jinghan?"
I said, "Tell me."
Xiaoshan said softly, "Loving someone is truly a matter of whether it's happiness or pain. Sister Jinghan loves you; you can tell from her tone."
I said, "But I didn't cherish it."
Xiaoshan said, "She started to love your intelligence; she felt you were different, and somewhat clever."
I said, "I'm really quite naive now."
Xiaoshan said, "When you went to Shanghai, she fell in love with your persistence, even though you had no money."
I said, "Now I wish I only had money left."
Xiaoshan said, "When you went to Beijing, she fell in love with your courage. You had the courage to give up the glory of Wuhan, but you didn't have the courage to give up a woman."
I was speechless.
Xiaoshan continued, "She married Jiang Bolun out of spite, but she never stopped loving you for a moment. You might complain that she wasn't there for you when you were down on your luck, but do you know what makes her so great? What man would be willing to be down on his luck in front of the woman he loves?"
I said, "I didn't resent her, but I didn't think of that."
Xiaoshan said, "She just wanted you to cheer up. If you cheered up, she would be happy."
I said quietly, "I can cheer up, but I don't have the courage of Meng Linghui."
Xiaoshan said, "She didn't accept Meng Linghui's proposal, but you pushed her towards Meng Linghui. After she finished the phone call, she cried and laughed, and I didn't know how to comfort her."
I couldn't help but slap myself. I said, "I'm such a bastard, a bastard."
I stood up and was about to rush out the door.
Xiaoshan smiled and said, "Didn't you say you wouldn't bother her anymore?" I said, "But..." Xiaoshan said, "But what? When Sister Jinghan left, she said she had finally let go. She sighed for a long time. I know she let go of you at that time, so why pick it up again and continue to be sad?"
I said, "But..." Xiaoshan said, "No buts. Can you give up everything to love her like Meng Linghui? Can you care for her like Meng Linghui, no matter what? Can you laugh and cry with her like Meng Linghui? You may be smarter than Meng Linghui, you may be better at solving problems than Meng Linghui, you may be better at creating joy than Meng Linghui, and you may even be more interesting to her than Meng Linghui, but marriage is about staying together, not a momentary passion, not a momentary romance, and certainly not a momentary impulse."
I sat on the bed in a daze, drinking a glass of wine, but I didn't know what it tasted like.
Xiaoshan said, "That's you. The moment I mentioned it, you refused to go. That's impulsiveness. You keep wavering, not even knowing what you want to do."
I wandered the street, not drunk, but heartbroken.
The tension I'd just released tightened again.
When I left, Xiaoshan acted as if she hadn't seen me; she didn't even know how I got out of the room.
The crowds in Wangfujing had dispersed, scraps of paper fluttering in the wind, and I drifted along, feeling the same way.
When I arrived, it was packed; now it was deserted.
Cleaners were sweeping up trash; people's ability to create trash far exceeds their ability to create wealth.
A few security guards patrolled the street. Seeing me, they approached and asked, "Need any help?" I shook my head.
The guards laughed and walked away. One said, "Probably another heartbroken person. That's how it is these days."
Another said, "On Wangfujing Street, there are beautiful women everywhere, and many rich people, so there are many heartbroken people."
They laughed heartily, as if they wanted to take the blame for others' heartbreak.
One said, "He won't commit suicide, will he?" Another said, "Suicides happen all the time. It's normal for
him to be upset if a beautiful woman runs off with a rich man." One said, "How do you know his wife is beautiful and ran off with a rich man?" Another said, "If a dinosaur fell on you, would you be sad?"
The laughter gradually faded away, and I sat down on a bench by the street.
I searched all my pockets but couldn't find a cigarette. Then I saw a slender hand reaching out gracefully: "Want a smoke? Here."
I took it blankly, said thank you, brought my face close to the flame, took a deep drag, and realized I was on the street. I looked up and saw a beautiful girl standing in front of me.

188. Can we do it seriously this time?
A handsome face, bright eyes, head down, breasts directly in front of my eyes, eyebrows and eyes neatly groomed.
The girl seemed surprised, but still smiled and said, "Aren't you Li Chao?" Meeting a beautiful girl on the street, I still said dejectedly, "I am." I
said thank you again and stood up unsteadily.
The girl immediately grabbed my hand and said, "Look at me, don't you recognize me?" I wasn't drunk, but holding a soft little hand made me feel weak.
I looked up and looked closely, then hugged the girl tightly, saying in a slightly tearful voice, "Guan Li, it's Guan Li."
Guan Li helped me sit down, her eyes a little moist.
I said, "You've grown up, become so beautiful, how could I recognize you?" Guan Li said, "If it weren't for this time, I wouldn't have seen you either. I saw you from afar, your figure looked somewhat similar, so I followed you, and it really was you."
I rubbed my eyes and said, "When did you arrive in Beijing?"
Guan Li sighed and said, "Five years."
I said, "Why didn't you see me?" Just as Guan Li sat down next to me, a cleaner swept up a cloud of dust with her broom.
Guan Li said, "Don't stay on the street, come to my place, let's have a good chat."
The cleaner muttered, "Shameless, doing business with a drunkard."
Guan Li smiled and took my arm, and we walked away.
Behind the Wangfu Hotel was a luxury apartment building. The lobby was like a hotel lobby, and there were even hostesses standing there.
Looking at Guan Li, I smiled and said, "Does this person need to register?" Guan Li shook her head and said, "He's my brother."
The elevator went all the way to the end, turned a few corners, and then Guan Li opened the door, took my arm, and led me into the room.
I said, "You're living quite well. It's obviously the life of the upper class."
Guan Li smiled, put down her bag, and said, "Tea or wine?" I said, "I'd like to drink today."
Guan Li took a bottle of foreign liquor and two glasses to the sofa. After pouring the wine, she said, "Cheers to our reunion."
I said, "You should say it's a toast to not dying on the street."
Saying that, I drank it all in one gulp.
I said, "You're doing quite well now. Back then, you were so capable."
Guan Li still smiled and said, "Brother Chao, let's drink now and not talk about the past, okay?" I also wanted to forget the past, so I said, "Okay, let's drink. Let's drink to the fullest and not mention the sad past." "
Guan Li said, 'The past isn't necessarily sad, and romance isn't always beautiful.'
I said, 'But my past is extremely sad.'
Guan Li said, 'Then forget it and drink.'
We drank, one glass after another, Guan Li occasionally tugging at my hand, and I patting Guan Li's shoulder. Half a bottle of wine was gone.
Guan Li said, 'Brother Chao, do you think I'm still beautiful now?' I said, 'Even more attractive. Before, you were a child; now you're a standard beauty.'
Guan Li laughed, laughing until tears streamed down her face.
I said, 'What are you laughing at? Is what I said really funny?' Guan Li said, 'It's not funny. I'm laughing because you're still the same, unchanged, still full of sweet talk.'
I said, 'It's easier to change mountains and rivers than to change one's nature.'
Guan Li said, 'I'm over thirty now. Five or six years have passed in the blink of an eye. In five or six years, you can finish university, or you can forget everything you learned.'
I laughed and said, 'You can also double the GDP.'
Guan Li said, 'You can also turn a girl into a woman.' " "
I said, 'It doesn't take five years to turn a girl into a woman, it only takes a second.'
Guan Li laughed.
Guan Li sat beside me, took my hand, and said, 'Have you thought of me all these years?' I looked at Guan Li smiling, feeling that my smile was unnatural, but only by smiling could I avoid the awkwardness.
Guan Li said, 'I know you've forgotten me, but I've always been thinking of you.'
I said, 'What is there for me to think of?'
Guan Li said, 'Touch my chest, I still get excited when I see you.'
I didn't touch it, my breasts were hidden in my heart.
I said, 'Let's go to a bar, drinking will calm me down.'
Guan Li said, 'I haven't felt excited for years, no one excites me, nothing excites me, my heart feels like it's dead.'
I said, 'But what I see is you, radiant.'
Guan Li said, 'Am I really radiant in your eyes?' I said, 'In a man's eyes, you are definitely radiant.'
Guan Li then took my hand and placed it on her chest, her soft breasts trembling with her rapid breathing.
I said, 'I can't stand it when you do this.'" "
Guan Li said, 'I can't take it either.'
She then kissed me, holding my lips tightly.
I was somewhat numb. Guan Li said, 'Do you think I'm very lewd?' I said, 'No, I just feel that what we're doing isn't appropriate.'
Guan Li said, 'Then I'll show you what's appropriate.'
She then kissed me again, her hand touching my genitals.
Guan Li was like a she-wolf; in a few moments, she stripped herself naked, her soft body wrapping around me, and my hand unconsciously caressed her."
Guan Li said, "I thought you weren't excited. You got hard after just a few touches. Time hasn't made you weak."
I said, "What has time made me do?" Guan Li didn't speak, and started eating. Suddenly, I felt an inexplicable urge, so I turned her over and entered her from behind.
I was like a horse, galloping, and I saw Xiao Shan flash past me, then Dou Dou flash past me, then Xiao Dingdong flash past me, and I even vaguely saw Liu Fang flash past me... Guan Li moaned loudly, like the howl of a wolf on the grassland, a poignant yet pleasurable sound.
Xiao Shan came over and said, "My figure is so good, my breasts don't sag even after breastfeeding. Fei Fei grew up eating them. I don't want her to eat cow's milk. Eating mother's milk is good for your health. You should try some too." As
she spoke, she put her breast to her mouth, and I saw white milk flowing out.
DouDou yanked XiaoShan away, saying, "My breasts are big, and even though I haven't had children, they're still very wet. Eat mine, look, they're all flowing out."
She then pressed her breasts against my face, and I felt my breath catch in my throat.
I screamed and struggled to get away, but XiaoDingDong laughed and said, "Didn't you like me eating you? You said you were happy when I ate you, but why did you leave them with her?" She forcefully pulled them out, ignoring my pain, and bit them with her teeth.
LiuFang floated over, saying, "Didn't you say you felt most comfortable with me?" She placed her breasts in my hands, saying, "Touch them if you like."
XiaoDingDong retorted angrily, "Let you touch them, I'll kill you!"
I felt a sharp pain and a tremor, and I collapsed onto GuanLi.
GuanLi gasped for breath, her eyes glazed, and she moaned softly.
Guan Li said, "You're so fierce, like a wild beast, you're almost killing me."
I said sadly, "Am I really a wild beast?" Guan Li climbed on top of me and said softly, "Even if you are a wild beast, I'll still seduce you to death. Didn't you say you wanted to eat breasts?" She put her breasts to my mouth and said gently, "Eat them, see, aren't they bigger than before?"
I touched her soft breasts, but I couldn't laugh or say anything.
Guan Li said quietly, "You don't seem to be with me. Although I've died many times, I feel like you're only in my body, your soul is already in someone else's body."
I put her breasts in my mouth and gently licked them.
Guan Li touched me again, as if caressing a piece of jade, and said, "I don't blame you. Just like the first time, you were drunk. You couldn't feel my pain, but I felt you. You entered me, and I felt warm. I saw blood coming out, but I didn't feel any pain. I just felt you stroking my wound."
I said, "That time I really didn't feel it. I was really drunk. I only thought of it when I saw the blood."
Guan Li said, "You must be thinking, how could I, so small, have a wound?" I said, "Everyone has them, just in different places."
Guan Li said, "Can you do it with me wholeheartedly just once?" Looking at Guan Li's infatuated eyes, I said, "Being with you makes me miss you."
Guan Li touched me and said, "I believe you because you're hard again."
Saying that, she slowly sat on me.
I stroked her smooth back and moved involuntarily.
Guan Li also swayed gently and even laughed.
I said, "What are you laughing at?" Guan Li said, "It's really funny now that I think about it. Do you remember the story I told you?" I nodded.
Guan Li said, "Actually, I really loved that boy, but my best friend stole him away. I was only eighteen then, and I couldn't bear to see her holding up her blood-stained underwear and telling me she was with him again."
I said, "Eighteen is a time for impulsiveness, so you can't blame her."
Guan Li said, "But at that time, I was filled with despair. She also joined the performance troupe, and I danced with her every day, watching her smile every day, just like she was with him every night. I even heard her moaning."
I said, "I didn't expect someone so young to be so jealous."
Guan Li said, "Women all have jealousy, just in different ways."
I said, "But I'm not handsome, and I'm not Andy Lau."
Guan Li said, "But among those girls, everyone liked you, liked your intelligence, especially the large bonuses you gave them right after starting work. Although many of these girls weren't short of money, it was still a reflection of their value."
I said, "I was just doing them a favor." "
Guan Li said, 'I told her you loved me, but she just laughed disdainfully. I couldn't stand her laughter, but I couldn't get close to you, so I practiced desperately. They all laughed at me for being stupid, saying that who could appreciate art while dancing in a nightclub? But to get closer to you, I worked hard every day, and that's how I became the lead dancer. Later, Sister Ma Ling let me practice independently.'
I said, 'No effort is wasted.'
Guan Li said, 'When I waved your blood-stained underwear in front of her, I was so happy. Seeing her slinky face, I still want to laugh now.'
I said, 'You might have ruined yourself.'
Guan Li kissed my chest and hugged me gently. I could feel the resonance and slight trembling of my buttocks.
I said, 'You came, but this time it wasn't my doing.'
Guan Li said shyly, 'It was yours. When I spoke, I felt you; when you moved, I felt it.'
Guan Li lingered on me for a long time before slowly saying, 'It wasn't you who ruined me, it was myself.'
I said, 'Aren't you doing well now?'" "Luxury apartments, designer clothes, and... and an even more beautiful you."
Guan Li said, "The house you see, and everything in it, isn't mine, not even myself."
I said, "I don't understand."
Guan Li said, "Let's not talk about me, let's talk about you. What are you doing now?" I said, "I run an internet company."
Guan Li said, "Seeing how lost you look, I thought you were homeless."
I said, "If I were homeless, would you still drink with me?" Guan Li looked into my eyes solemnly and said, "Yes, if you were homeless, I would be a prostitute to make sure you're well-fed and clothed."
Hearing this, I couldn't help but hug her tightly, speechless.
Guan Li murmured, "What's the difference between me and a prostitute now?" I said, "Aren't you doing well now?" Guan Li said, "It's all superficiality, it's all what got me to where I am today."
I said, "Can I hear it?" Guan Li said, "Sometimes, the pain without wounds is unspeakable."
I said, "If you don't want to talk about it, just keep it in your heart. Everyone has a safe in their heart, but a safe can hold diamonds, but it can't hide pain." Guan
Li said, "Do you know Super Girl?" I said, "Isn't that the Super Girl competition?" Guan Li said, "Pretty much, but on a different TV station."
Guan Li sighed and said, "You left, and actually I left too. I left with a man from Taiwan. He said I danced very well, so he asked me to sing with him. I knew he wanted to pick me up, but I didn't like him at all. After a few dates, he said I sang well too, so why didn't I participate in Super Girl? At that time, Super Girl was already a huge hit across the country. After his encouragement, I dreamed of standing on stage with a crowd of tearful fans below."
I said, "Every girl has a dream, which is why Super Girl was so popular."
Guan Li said, "After signing up, I went through each round, and we naturally started living together. He spent a lot of money sending text messages, hundreds of thousands of yuan. He wanted me to win the championship, and I didn't let him down. In the finals, I made it to the top twelve."
I said, "That's already outstanding."
Guan Li said, "But in the end..." "I came in twelfth place; I didn't win the championship."
I said, "The most famous contestant in Super Girl isn't the champion."
Guan Li said, "I didn't have that luck. At first, TV stations invited me to perform, and he became my manager. Later, I was ignored."
I said, "Then you're still successful. Not everyone can stand on the final stage."
Guan Li said, "The appearance fees combined are less than a tenth of what I spent on text messages. Seeing how much he did for me, I secretly resolved to treat him well and love him. But I didn't expect him to have a wife and children in Taiwan. I also discovered that he has many businesses in mainland China and is very rich. Playing Super Girl was just a momentary curiosity, but I can't live without him."
I said, "Why?" Guan Li said, "If someone is used to eating shark fin soup, can they still eat coarse rice?" Guan Li's eyes were filled with tears, but they didn't fall.
She continued, "At first, he was with me every day, like we were a passionate couple. Then he only came a few times a month, and now he only comes occasionally. But he does give me money on time, so I hang out in bars and shopping malls every day. If I hadn't been drinking late with some girlfriends today, how would I have seen you?" I said, "Then you're not..." I didn't say the word "second wife," because I felt it might hurt her.
Guan Li, however, readily said, "To be precise, I am a 'second wife.'"
Guan Li finally couldn't hold back her tears, which fell onto my chest like knives piercing it.
I said, "Find a job. Life will always have sunshine in it."
Guan Li said softly, "I wish I could, but..." I said, "My company needs people. I can introduce you."
Guan Li said, "Can you let me drive a BMW? Can you let me live in a mansion? Can you let me spend money as I please?" I said, "No, I can only let you be like an ordinary person, with laughter and sorrow, and maybe love."
Guan Li said, "But would you be willing to exchange a BMW and a mansion for these things?"
I didn't know, and I couldn't answer.
Guan Li said, "A champion's dream, a young girl's champion's dream, a dream of reaching the pinnacle of beauty, that's my fate now."
I said, "But you need to be brave and face yourself. Why did you become so obsessed?" Guan Li didn't answer, but said, "When I was down, I wanted to talk to you, but I was too ashamed to face you. I called Sister Ma Ling several times, but I couldn't bring myself to ask for your number."
I said, "So close yet so far, that's life."
As I was leaving, Ma Ling said, "Can we meet again?" I said, "Yes, you can contact me anytime."
When I got outside, Ma Ling didn't see me off, didn't say goodbye, and didn't leave her phone number.

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Urban Romance (A Useless Man Gets Attracted Peach Blossoms) (Complete) - 39

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