Couple's Night Talk

page views:1 Publication date:2013-01-11

I've been using 69 (a dating website) for a while now, and my wife and I can communicate openly about it. A crucial factor is my promise to her: "If you ever say, 'Honey, I don't want to, and you don't want to talk about dating anymore,' I'll immediately stop using 69 and delete my QQ account." My wife knows my resolve; whenever I'm busy with work, I quit online games, and the same goes for smoking—I haven't smoked a single cigarette in twelve years. My promise gave her a lot of psychological reassurance because she knows she can always turn back, which makes her bolder to move forward. Now, she can accompany me to look at the posts I recommend, the photos, and our QQ chat content, and we even try to discuss some issues—something that was impossible before. Her problem is indeed common, and this is my explanation; I hope everyone can discuss and offer their corrections. Wife: "Sex is the most private thing in life. How can it be made public for others to watch and for multiple people to participate in?" Answer: "Humans have extended the stimulation brought about by the secretion of reproductive hormones to the experience of pleasure, and constantly experience and stimulate it. To the point that sexual desire can be aroused under any normal circumstances, leading to the experience of this extreme physical pleasure. Privacy is merely a product of feudal society. As material development reaches a certain level and people's cognitive level improves, these feudal things are easily defeated. Experiencing and perceiving physical pleasure is the driving force, unstoppable. The more developed a country is, the more open it is in this regard; this is the trend." Wife: "Then in a threesome, isn't the single man always taking advantage of others? If it's a single man in a married couple, isn't that also a betrayal of his wife? This also violates the principle of fairness you mentioned?" A: "Let's talk about the single man in a marriage first. One situation is that the wife agrees to him going solo, then there's no problem. Another situation is that if there's a significant cultural difference between the couple, the woman absolutely cannot understand this tendency. After fulfilling his responsibilities as a husband and family, it's understandable that the man, as a single man, can adjust his life's pleasures and sexual orientation. Only those who betray their wives to hunt for other women are despicable. That's why it's so difficult and cautious for couples to make friends, requiring high-quality partners—it's very necessary." "As for what you said about the man taking advantage, tell me yourself, every time we make love, who takes advantage? I always work hard, while you just enjoy it with moans and groans (wife laughs)! When both parties are on equal footing, it should be about sharing. One pleasure becomes two pleasures, and now one pleasure becomes three or more pleasures." Wife: "You said that a man's possessiveness of the opposite sex is a male instinct, comparing the hatred of having his wife stolen to the hatred of killing his father, giving his beloved wife to another man to rape, and even watching it happen—I find this kind of thinking hard to understand." A: "I used to think that way too. Women belong to me, and I had to protect them. If anyone dared to take her away, I would fight to the death for her. Now, my thoughts on the hatred of having my wife stolen are somewhat different. I would break it down into different scenarios: 1. If you were forced into this situation, regardless of whether it was your boss or a very powerful person, I wouldn't call the police. I would find an opportunity to beat him up when we were alone, even if I might get badly injured. Protecting women is a man's nature; it's a battle between men. 2. If you were forced into this situation and didn't even know who the other person was, I would comfort you: consider it an experience of being conquered and dominated by the strongest in a primal state, to soothe your emotional wounds. When a woman is raped, what she wants most is her husband's understanding. Once your perspective changes, your feelings will change too. I still wouldn't call the police. 3. If you actively pursued a relationship with someone else, and your feelings surpassed ours, I would be very sad. I would try my best to win them back, but I wouldn't hold a grudge against the other person. If it's beyond repair, I would give up and wish you both well." Fourth, the fourth situation is that you always put yourself in a subordinate position, which is the crux of the problem. Men and women should be equal. Men can release their desires, and women can also experience physical pleasure. Don't force yourself for my sake. If you really don't want to, I will never force you. If you find a suitable couple or single man that you can accept, you should completely open up and enjoy this stimulation and pleasure. Don't consider hypocritical morality at all. People should be free, and their bodies are their own. Fifth, finally, the best couples who engage in casual sex are those where the husband truly loves his wife and are highly educated. Only couples with these two conditions can fully enjoy the pleasure that casual sex brings. Imagine, there are many couples who love each other despite hardships in life. If couples with diverse sexual orientations still love each other, what in the world can separate them? Everyone is acting voluntarily, and no one is harmed. Wouldn't this also contribute to social stability? Wife: "..."

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