Waiting for a miracle to happen --- Reflections of a married single man

page views:1 Publication date:2014-01-02

Hello everyone, I've been using these kinds of dating platforms for a while now, and I often read other members' dating logs and success stories. I've also had some online conversations with married couples. I'd like to share some of my personal experiences and insights, and I welcome any constructive criticism.
First, after communicating online with several couples (mainly husbands), I feel that single men in this group have the following characteristics:
a. Numerous numbers: unmarried and married, students, working professionals, business travelers, older and younger... It's definitely more varied and fresher than vegetables at a market, so you can pick and choose freely. If you're not satisfied, you can put it back. After all, there are so many vendors in the market, and you're not alone; you'll always have to compare which looks more appealing and tastes better.
b. The process is basically the same as the interview. Usually, the interviewer is online on QQ, and the three-step review process is as follows: 1. Introduce your basic information (age, height, weight, occupation) 2. Photo (wearing sunglasses is not suitable; you will usually be asked to send another photo or be directly identified as being from the underworld) 3. Have you had any sexual experience or what is your sexual ability? (You need to report your experience in detail. If possible, you may also need to provide your size and photos, because without pictures, there is no proof)
c. After the initial screening, most people, out of consideration for the single man's feelings, will usually give a reply that seems to leave suspense, such as "Send it to my wife" or "I'll go back and discuss it with my wife." Generally speaking, receiving this kind of reply, which seems to be waiting for the approval of the core leader, is equivalent to declaring that you have not passed the initial screening. In fact, this is more cruel than a straightforward "I feel it is not suitable, I'm sorry" to completely end the interview, because what follows is never a reply or conversation, or you have been quietly blacklisted by the other party the next day.
It's not surprising that single men often receive the above treatment, as most are there with the intention of taking advantage, playing with married women, or even just looking for novelty without spending any money. This often leads to resentment from couples, as seen everywhere in 69 (single men please stay away, or only looking for handsome men and waiting for signatures). Therefore, unless a single man is exceptionally talented or incredibly lucky in love, possessing the looks of a Korean heartthrob or being extremely wealthy (of course, these people usually don't lack sexual partners). Admittedly, I initially registered with a desire for excitement, hoping to have experiences similar to those in erotic novels. However, after carefully reading many members' dating logs and relationship stories, I discovered that a significant portion of couples were looking to spice up their marriages and seek further sexual enjoyment. Of course, some were also looking to satisfy the husband's lustful desires or the wife's purely physical needs. Therefore, as a married man, I calmly reflected on my own dating motives and true feelings.
Firstly, my personal married life has become rather mundane after a long time. I've mentioned swapping partners to my spouse before, but she immediately dismissed it as crazy. Perhaps I lack the ability to persuade or adapt, but at least I wasn't ridiculed for "being unwilling" or anything like that. After all, everyone has a different attitude towards life, and while I cherish my relationship with my partner, I don't expect her to understand me more deeply.
Secondly, safety and health are fundamental to friendships for any couple, as these kinds of experiences are entirely private. I think a stay-at-home guy with a legitimate job and no bad habits is better than a jobless guy who frequents public entertainment venues (perhaps some couples think the opposite, finding the mysterious and exciting). Personally, I feel that not actively inquiring about the other couple's details is a sign of respect. I believe that once accepted by the other couple, we can become good friends and companions, and the atmosphere of mutual communication at that time is much more harmonious than simply exchanging text messages online.
While it's understandable that couples have higher standards for single men than for their own spouses due to the supply exceeding demand, especially regarding appearance, some might immediately ask, "Are you handsome?" My usual response is that I'm presentable and presentable. Because I honestly don't know how to define "handsome." Many times I've wanted to say: I think Eric Tsang is quite handsome; at least his character Chen in "Infernal Affairs" had a lot of style. Sun Honglei is also quite handsome; his portrayal of the gangster boss Qiang in "Conquest" was very manly, and his performance as the scoundrel Gu Xiaobai in "Men's Gang" was very realistic. When couples add me as a friend to learn about my situation, I'm always honest. Even with the three-step interview process mentioned above, I only provide real information and photos. Therefore, I hope couples can understand and respect each other. Single men also have privacy. Even if you receive photos out of curiosity, please don't just make up an excuse or disappear. Basic manners are necessary.
For me, being able to create spice and act as a regulator between couples is more important than simply pursuing sex. The only time I've had this experience was when I traveled to another city to provide a massage for the wife of a couple. We communicated online beforehand, and I mentioned they had no experience and their wives would be nervous. So, they agreed that for the time being, I would only provide massages with men, focusing on foreplay and caresses, with no sexual intercourse. I readily agreed (I'd learned a bit from watching massage and spa videos and had done it a few times for my wife). During the process, I followed the agreement completely, and my wife and her husband were very engaged after their desires were aroused. Afterwards, the husband said his wife was very satisfied. Actually, they wanted to have two men together, but they were too embarrassed to say so. They hoped to have another opportunity, which I understood. However, due to time constraints, work schedules, and various inconveniences on their schedules, it hasn't happened yet. But I think the important thing about an experience is the process. Many people might think I'm foolish, spending so much travel money, time, and energy to travel so far only to get nothing in return. I think it's just that everyone's interests are different. If it's purely about sex, it's much better to spend some money to find a LF or FL (sexual intercourse provider) – quick, convenient, and without much thought or time. What I enjoy most is seeing the other person's wife gradually get into the mood during sex, becoming increasingly aroused, and then continuing with caresses and flirting until finally reaching full ecstasy. It gives me a great sense of accomplishment.
These are just my reflections after several online encounters and my first special experience, after calming down on my own. I simply hope that couples interested in getting to know each other can interact with sincerity, respect, and mutual understanding. I will cherish the opportunity and trust you give me and sincerely hope for a miracle. Thank you!
(All the above text is original; please indicate the source if reprinting. These are personal opinions; feel free to express them. Discussion is welcome.)

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