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What's so good about friends with benefits compared to lovers? 

    page views:1  Publication date:2015-03-05  
I once read an article about things you shouldn't do with your lover, and a corresponding article about things you absolutely must do with your lover. The authors had different motivations: the former said not to do these things because they were prepared for a breakup, while the latter said they were prepared to commit to one person and abandon the rest of the world. They arrived at the same conclusion, essentially talking about the same things. What I want to talk about are some other things I think are important for couples who are destined to break up—things you shouldn't do. Because human memory is strange. You think you've completely forgotten something, but one day, after drinking, it resurfaces in your mind. This is like killing someone, binding them up like a mummy, attaching a massive boulder, and sinking them into the sea, only to be summoned by the police years later to identify the body. To facilitate future forgetting, these are things you shouldn't do with your lover:
Don't sunbathe with your lover. The reason is too simple: the sun is so damn ubiquitous! Seeing the sun reminds you; at that rate, how many times a year would you think of it?
Don't stand in the rain with your lover. Same reason as above. Besides, rain is almost inextricably linked to romance; if you don't want to die, don't stand in the rain with your lover.
Don't drink with your lover. Alcohol easily leads to indiscretions and even sexual misconduct. If you break up, you either need to quit drinking altogether, or drink to the point of being unable to care for yourself. Otherwise, in your slightly tipsy state, your mind will still be filled with thoughts of that person, which would be incredibly unpleasant.
Don't eat with your lover. Plain rice is fine, but avoid KFC or other overly regional specialties. Unique things are always easier to remember.
Don't watch movies with your lover. Especially horror movies, you know what I mean
. Don't go shopping with your lover. You know what I mean.
Don't chat with your lover on QQ. You know what I mean . Do
n't chat with your lover on Fetion. You know what I mean
.
All things considered, the only thing you can do with your lover is probably sex, which is basically just being friends with benefits. Apparently, after a breakup, we'd rather we'd never been lovers, just friends with benefits. Let's stop chatting and just go to a hotel.

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